We all want peaceful mornings at the breakfast table, affectionate afternoons full of warm giggles, and pleasant bedtimes with cuddly babes don’t we? Just a “normal” happy family going through the motions of the day. Doesn’t seem like too much to ask, but here I am, head in the books and eyes to the screens searching for answers.
I should really title this article “How to avoid what happened this morning.”
UGH. Parenting is hard, and constant. “If we fail to plan, then we plan to fail”. This goes for every aspect of family life; in order to live in harmony, preparation is key, (and even then there’ll be bumps). Especially with discipline. My husband and I haven’t been prepared when one of our “angels” starts acting up. We were clumsily concocting a strategy in the midst of a meltdown and trust me, that is not the way to go. It’s important to be prepared and aligned with your partner before committing to a game plan and BE CONSISTENT, kids learn fast. The next time there’s a meltdown about the fact that she’s had enough syrup with her waffles, turn to this easy to follow and concise plan-of-action. (I now keep it on the wall near the pantry). Hope it helps!
Be empathetic. Stay Calm – NO MEANS NO
Don’t give too many reasons “why” – DON’T OVERSPEAK
Offer calming hug -in silence, no talking. -big & firm, not cuddly.
Deep Breaths or Counting Backward
Ignore. Give Space. “I’ll wait for you to calm down, I’m looking forward to talking with you”.
Focus on behavior, don’t emotionally attack your child.
Refrain from yelling. DON’T OVERSPEAK.
Let them be angry. Walk away, if needed. Praise good behavior.
(Never, “I’ll give you ice cream if you stop crying”.)
BRIEF, easy commands:::
“Don’t hit your sister” – DON’T OVERSPEAK
Distraction! “Let’s color” “Time to water the flowers!”
Help undo frustration:::
“I know you wanted to climb the ladder, but that’s not allowed. Maybe later we can go to the park where you can climb.”
Give advance warning. Tell them what’s going to come next.
Stick with demands. Post-tantrum follow-through.
Move on right away & Don’t Take It Personally.
Praise positive behavior. I love you, hug & kiss. Discuss hours later.